the love of Ar-Rahman...

Don't be sad if ALLAH separates you with something or someone you love..
If we only knew what HIS plans were for us...
Our heart would melt with the warmth of HIS love...
Allahumma'i.....

I surrender to You my Lord....

it's hard to say goodbye... :'(

why people jugde....?

I'm trying to understand every single thing that happen in my life..
maybe silent would be the best thing that I have to choose...
friends...
I think that I can share everything...
but actually I'm wrong...
I think they would be understand all the conditions...
but once again I'm wrong...

but thank u to Allah...
for all of these...
as the truth it disappointed me so...
for all their judgement...
but I'm trying to understand for differences in our heads...

just let Allah the one who knows who I am...
let only Allah who knows that I really want to share with them...
just need a little time to solve all my problems first...
I always want to share as much as I can with them...
alhamdulillah.. it made me can talk more and more to Allah about all my wounds...
but maybe I will keep in silent...
and hold all my problems only with my own hands...

I never thought about this before...
thank u Allah... once again You reminds me that they're not the right place for me to put all my story...

sorry guys... since now I will keep it by my self...
but it won't be change my love for all you...
Allah who knows how much I love you guys... :)

thank u ALLAH...

thank u ALLAH as You answer my prayer...
thank u ALLAH as You helped me to solve it...
thank u ALLAH as You're always here with me...
thank u ALLAH as You teach me to be more patience...

ya ALLAH...
You're not always give me what I want...
but You're always give me what I need in the right time...

You guide me to see the world from the different side...
You lead me to find that way...

when I'm stuck with all the conditions in my life...
I just need to sit on my "sajadah" and talk to You...
sometimes my mouth still in silent...
but just let my heart talk to You...
and You know what's the inside more than I know...

You also teach me to love him with unexpected...
just let this feeling flow with the times...
and I know You have a great plan for me as You let me met him since the first time...
and I hope with all the feeling to love him will make me can love You more and more...
maybe it's also Your way to give support for me..

now...
I just try to love him in the simple way... as He told me...
and also love him with unexpected...
just let Your hands make it us together or not...
but I believe I will find beautiful ending story about him...
insyaAllah...

thank u ALLAH for everything...
I also try to love You more and more in everyday...
I love You my Rabb...

August 4th....

today... ten years ago...

it was the time I started this journey...
when we made the commitment in front of God...
then we have the greatest present ever...
our beloved "Salma Adriani Putri"...

I still remember that day...
seems like it's just happened yesterday...
then I know I wasn't there...

I'm standing here...
I know it's already over now...
It's just a memory...
even not a beautiful memory...
cause it has created pain in our new life...
the pain that we never know when it will be end and stop to hurting us...

the only one that I won't regret...
We've learned from all...
Allah has showed us the "real life"...
and we grow stronger...

I know that I'm not alone...
cause Allah always be there for me and Salma to get trough our life...

thank u Allah...
as You always here for us...
and thank u so much for gave me...
"the most beautiful girl" in my life... Salma...

it's time to let go... :'(

I hope this is the last night I remember everything about you...

yes... really I have to go...

You will soon enter into a covenant with her...

as the truth... it breaks me so...

no one beside me... I cry...

I keep my eyes on you...

but I have to let go of all our memories...

too beautiful... but too hurt to know the truth...

that you're not mine...

I will try to run away...

but even I don't know where should I run to...

the only one place for me to go...

I bend my knees and pray for the strength from God...

tell Him all about my wounds...

it's not your fault...

it's just my way that God gave me to learn...

I will try to enjoy this pain...

until I understand the reason that you have come to my life...

and I will smile to the world after this...

ya Allah...

this is my heart temptation... I know...

I have to turn my heart to You...

and the only for You...

so I close my heart today to other...

so there's only You inside...

no matter how hard.. as long as You beside me ...

I can be strong to pass it...

you there...

in wherever you are... just keep remember Allah in every step you make....

I pray in silent here for your happiness with her...

and I will always remember you as my beautiful memory...

I just hope this is the last time of losing for me...

and I won't let anyone come inside my heart until Allah send me the last person who will walk with 'til I die...

i don't wanna be a hater...

He said...
to love in the simple way...
because something that we love too much...
it would be something we hated most...

but I hope I never hate anybody in this world...
cause it will be hinder the Grace and the Love of Allah for me..
just trying to forgive and to love them who made pains in my life...
as the way I live in God's way...

thank you to them cause they made me feel stronger...:)

dear haters...

just do what you wanna do...

I will open up my heart...

just come inside...

so I release my heart from you...

and I don't wanna be like you...