first "Ramadhan" and first "August"...

It's so special month...
Ramadhan is always the month that I've been waiting for...
My second Ramadhan with alone...
Alhamdulillah... that Allah still give chance to be here and enjoy this Ramadhan in my imperfect life...

August...??
why is it to be so special too...?
just because in the end of this month is "Your Birthday"...?
and it coincides with the feast of Eid al-Fitr...
wow...!
but I don't know I will be there to say something to you or maybe I will just pray in silent to Allah...
really I don't know...


I've already walked out from you for couple weeks...
and tried just looked at the sky if I remember you...
but you came just to take my eyes back at you..
and everything still unclear for me...


maybe I'm just stupid...
cause as the truth I'm still standing here...
why should March 24 came to my life...
if it's just makes me stuck with this feeling...?
many times I've tried to move on..
but everything what you've done makes me feel so hard to let go of this feeling...
and I'm still here with pain now...
I think you're not stupid as you don't know how does it feel...
you just try not to look at it...


I don't know for how many times you will make it worst...???
why don't you just let me go...?
seems like we never met since 10 years ago...
just think that my birthday 10 years ago is the last time we've talked and never talk each other until today...
maybe it would makes me easy to leave you...


cause I don't wanna see you go and leave me...
so let me do it first before you...
cause I just want to remember you as the nicest one that I used to know you...
and let our teen memories never change.. it was about us as we were teens only...

ya Allah...

I surrender to You...

just let it flow... and let it happen as Your plan for me...

and I hope this beautiful Ramadhan will be the right time for me look at You... just only You...

heart and feel will never can choose the right place to be fall... and it's just happened unpredictable..